Day 28 Prayers for Forgiveness

Pray that they seek God’s forgiveness for past mistakes and that He helps them forgive themselves.

Acts 3:19

"Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord."

Recovering from anything is largely centered around forgiveness - forgiving ourselves, forgiving other and sometimes even forgiving God. Many times unforgiveness is at the root of disfunction. The 12-step process involves taking a good hard look at what you need to be forgiven for (your sins) and what you need to forgive other for (sins against you). The 4th step involves taking a fearless and thorough inventory of ourselves and listing the things we need forgiveness for and what we have unforgiveness about. It’s a difficult thing to look that closely into the mirror of your soul and be honest with yourself. This is where we typically lose up to half of the participants in our 12-step classes in the recovery ministry I work in. It can be terrifying. Personally I had to be dragged kicking and screaming through it the first time. These days I have to assure people each year that we have not “lost” anyone yet to this process and I’m not going to let that start with them.

This is one of the bigger hurdles our loved ones have to overcome to see that miracle. This process works. I can’t put my finger on how or why or where specifically the magic lies but with God’s help it works every single time. It can be unsettling for us as their loved ones as they go through this process. Their emotions are stirred up and their heart is raw and they may be feeling anger or frustration with us. Or they may be feeling overwhelmed with how much they have hurt us and may be reacting a number of ways to that. Let them feel what they feel and don’t invalidate their feelings. They will all get sorted out in time and if they don’t give up they will find their way to forgiveness.

Don’t be afraid to have the uncomfortable conversations and try not to react defensively. If they have a good sponsor, they are encouraging them to list and look at the good as well and keep things balanced. They will most likely come back around.

While you are waiting on them to find their way into recovery, I encourage you to work the 12-steps and do an inventory for yourself with a great, experienced sponsor or counselor/therapist. There is no better way to support them in their recovery than to have done the work for ourselves. There is no better way to have empathy and compassion as they go through this difficult process than to have been through it and seen the healing that we received as a result. One of the saying I use a lot with my leaders is to lead from the front - in other words, lead by example and exhibit the principles and behaviors you want your loved one or team to embody. It also frees us from our own disfunction so that when they begin to work through their inventory our mess isn’t getting tangled up with theirs. I'm sure I sound like a broken record but this is the best gift you can your loved one.

You’ve most likely made mistakes and hurt your loved one at some point. We all fall short of the glory of God. None of us are perfect and hurt people hurt people. Take responsibility and make amends as necessary but rest in the assurance that where you were weak, God was strong. Know that God can use even our mistakes and sins for good for those who are called according to His purpose. You are not responsible for their addiction and bad choices. Neither are your responsible for their recovery and good choices. Either way their journey is between them and God and yours is between you and God. We refer to it as keeping our side of the street clean. Be sure that you have done what God has required of you and the responsibility for their reactions and choices and recovery lies squarely on them.

May God bless you on this journey!

Precious Heavenly Father,

We come before You with humble hearts, lifting up our addicted loved ones to You. Lord, we ask that You surround them with Your love and grace as they seek Your forgiveness for their past mistakes. Help them to come before You with open hearts, knowing that You are a God of mercy, always ready to forgive and restore.

Father, we also pray that You help them to forgive themselves. The weight of guilt and regret can be heavy, but we know that You offer freedom through Your forgiveness. May they experience the peace that comes from knowing their sins are washed away by Your grace. Release them from any shame or self-condemnation, and let them walk in the freedom of Your love.

Lord, as they seek Your forgiveness, let them feel the healing power of Your grace in their hearts. Guide them as they move forward in recovery, trusting that they are made new in You. Fill them with hope and remind them that their past does not define them, but Your love does.

In Jesus’ mighty name,Amen.

1 John 1:9

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

Ephesians 1:7

"In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace."

Isaiah 1:18

"Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool."

Micah 7:18-19

"Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea."

Psalm 103:12

"As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us."