Day 14 Prayers for Accountability

Pray for trustworthy individuals who can help hold them accountable.

Ephesians 4:25

"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor,

Accountability is an essential part of the recovery journey. After having been so deceived and so far in denial, it takes some trustworthy people to help our addicted loved ones reorient to reality. For the most part, accountability works best when given by someone who has personal experience with what they are going through. Correction is easier to receive when we know the person offering it understands where we are coming from and has successfully overcome the obstacles we are facing.

It is also helpful when that person has a simpler relationship with our addicted loved ones than we do. It is difficult for family members and friends to offer accountability to recovering addicts and maintain a healthy relationship. So often it turns into a co-dependent parent/child type relationship. Even if you are the parent, they are adults who have to make their own choices and you don’t want your relationship with them degenerating to the point it resembles that of an overprotective parent and a rebellious teenager. Boundaries are great but they are responsible for managing their own recovery.

When my daughter got out of rehab, she came to our home to live. Before she came home I had a conversation with her about what my expectations and rules were for my home. That included attending recovery meetings, keeping all her medical appointments and court dates, on top of rules to keep the peace in my home. I told her that I would not struggle with her on these rules. Either she agreed to follow them or my home was not where she needed to be and I would help her find a sober living facility or somewhere else to go. She agreed and it went really well. She kept the rules but I did not micro-manage her recovery for her. She got to choose what meetings she went to, who she associated with, who her support team was, where she worked, what she could and could not handle in the way of temptation. She chose to go to the recovery program I worked in and while, at first, she was afraid the people she confided in would tell me what she said, I assured her that they would not. I have not offered my thoughts to or asked any questions of her accountability team in the 4 1/2 years she’s been in recovery. If someone had tried to tell me something about her recovery, I would have stopped them and if I called them asking about it, I would have expected them to tell me they could not have that conversation with me. Their recovery is their journey and it is between them, God and their accountability team.

I encourage people who have just had a loved one enter rehab to sit back and let the professionals do their job. Let the rehab center or the court system provide the accountability they need and let us embrace our role as a cheerleader and support person. They most likely will call wanting to come home and promise anything in the world if we will just get them out of rehab or jail. I won’t go as far as saying that it is never a good idea but I don’t recommend it unless God drops a brick on your head and tells you that is what he wants you to do. I would cover that decision in a LOT of prayer before acting on it. It’s painful and uncomfortable and of course, they want relief. Because we love them, of course, we want to provide that relief. My recommendation is to be a listening ear and empathize with how difficult it must be but encourage them that they can get through it and they need to keep fighting.

The process is tough and so much of it is counter-intuitive to what we have been taught all our lives about love. With God’s help, though, the process works. So many lives have been transformed and saved through this journey and it is the best hope for our addicted loved ones.

May God bless you on this journey!

Precious Heavenly Father,

We come before You today, lifting up our loved ones who are struggling with addiction. Lord, we know that no one can walk this journey alone, so we ask that You provide them with trustworthy individuals who can lovingly hold them accountable.

Surround them with people who will speak truth into their lives with grace and compassion—people who will encourage them, challenge them, and help guide them toward healing.

Give them the courage to seek out accountability, to be honest about their struggles, and to accept the support and correction that leads to growth.

We also ask for strength for those holding them accountable. Grant them wisdom, patience, and love as they walk alongside our loved ones in this difficult journey. Let them be a reflection of Your grace and steadfastness.

Lord, help our loved ones recognize the importance of accountability in their recovery and give them hearts willing to embrace the help and support You provide through others. Protect these relationships, and let them be a source of encouragement, growth, and healing.

In Jesus’ name,

Amen.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."

1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing."

Proverbs 12:1

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but whoever hates correction is stupid."

Romans 14:12

"So then, each of us will give an account of ourselves to God."

Psalm 141:5

"Let a righteous man strike me—that is a kindness; let him rebuke me—that is oil on my head. My head will not refuse it, for my prayer will still be against the deeds of evildoers."